Balance is Bullshit

I've read a hundred blogs about ultra runners and balance and I call B.S.. Sure, if you work from home or don't have an 8-5 job, balance can be obtained as an ultra runner. Everyone else just stay with me.

As we are all excessive runners, we strive to keep the balance in our lives. I think about it on a daily basis and although my wife is uber supportive (so she tells me), I strive for balance. So much so that I will do absurd long runs on my treadmill. I lie to myself and think that as long as I'm home I am keeping the balance. Don't get me wrong, I'm selfish with the TM too, I live in a flat area and need it for hill training. Two birds with one stone!

I'm fortunate to have a wife that supports my crazy. She comes to races, crews me on 100 milers, and listens to me go on and on about socks, shoes, poop, etc.. Every time I'm asked (every weekend) what my wife thinks of me running so much for training, I reply with "I'm lucky". We have a 17 year old son and a 5 year old daughter. My son is obviously ok at this point, he's a man, but my daughter is young and my wife deserves me being there to help. I try. When not working my "8-5" or running, I fully expect the responsibility to fall on me. This is where my guilt comes in. My work and running takes time! Although I feel I'm present, I know it could be more.

When I first got back to running I was also a high school football coach. In my mind that required more time than ultra running since I was always watching film when not at practice or in a coaches meeting. The big difference was that I was pretty much always home on the weekend. I might have been watching film or planning for the next game, but I could always pause the video or stop the planning and I could be totally present. Running does not work that way.

But.......I was stressed and it showed in all aspects of my life. My life was consumed with the importance of my job and the football team. My co-workers and my coaches and players on the team relied on me to help with success. With my type of personality, nothing less than 100% would work. That meant all non-working hours dedicated to planning. Although I loved coaching, the fun had left. My attitude was all business, enjoyment was minimal. And the worst thing possible, my family felt it also. To be clear, the boys I coached kept me coaching. To have a positive impact on young men was important to me and they kept me coaching the last year. To this day they call me Coach Welch and give me a hug....I beam with pride.

Insert running a lot. Insert running on trails with glorious views. Insert sunrises and sunsets. I'm freaking happy all the time! There's no stress to it, even when I'm training. Sure it hurts and I question what I'm doing but all I know is I'm happy. And my family's happy! My wife has commented numerous times on the change of my being. My kids see a happy dad and a healthy role model. My sanity is restored with suffering, weird huh? When I taper, or take time off from a big race, I'm in everyone's hair at home. I'm up early and act like everyone needs to be active at 6am. My wife now groggily looks at me and begs me to go run. So the next time I worry about balance (every day), I'll remind myself of the asshole I once was.

(Tonights rambling brought to you by Knee Deep Brewings Batch No. 138 IPA)